$10,000….

Today I talked to a lovely woman who is getting married tomorrow who regaled me with tales of her money saving wedding plans: Getting married on her family’s land, doing their own flowers, hiring a friend to do their photographs, having their guests camp on the property. All that, allllll that and how much did they spend?

$10,000

Ten motherfucking thousand dollars. For a day. Where people camp and eat food cart food and drink beer.

Here’s a list of things I could buy for $10,000:

1. Some really, really nice breast implants.

2. Half of an Alpaca. Because a whole alpaca costs $20,000. According to my friend, Colleen, I should buy the front half because  “the back half, all you get is shit.”.

alpaca head

Do yourself a favor and google image search alpacas. It will be the best five minutes of your day.

3. I could rent the entire Hotel Budir in Iceland and have my wedding there plus a honeymoon in Europe.

4. Carrot Top. That’s speculation but I’m pretty sure I could.

5. A yard full of fainting goats. Also speculation but again, I’m reasonably sure this could happen with ten grand.

6.rocking chair bed.

giant-rocking-bed

 

7.micro cabin. Because we can’t afford to buy a real house

original

 

8. This Land Rover pick-up. Because I would look amazing in it.

original

 

9. Diamond studded jeans for my fiance.

M375A4AAA8-FBS-10000(1)

 

10. Did I mention really nice breast implants? Those would last at least ten years. Though if a marriage lasts forever then I suppose the wedding is a better thing to spend the money on. But the fiance would see the boobs every day. He’s not going to look at wedding photos every day. Boobs win.