Wedding Plan #456 and #457 Thwarted.

There are no original thoughts in this world. Especially when it comes to weddings. Oh, your gothic cemetery wedding where you get wheeled down the the isle in a coffin? It’s been done, betch. Your adorable carnival themed wedding? Has been done better than you could do it.  Want a gorgeous and classy Alice and Wonderland theme? Too bad, they did it and they did it good. And don’t even start with your Little Mermaid shit because you got nothing on this broad.

My dreams (and by dreams I mean random thought I had while drunk) of getting married at the witch’s mouth at Enchanted Forest have been dashed due to them being fussy about renting out the entire park to me. I will not stand in line to ride the log ride on my wedding day! I figured since they close on weekdays during September they might be open to a group of 80-100 drunks having a party on their grounds but apparently that’s the kind of shit they don’t do. Bastards.


Gaaaawwwwd dammit.

My next brilliant idea was to rent out a summer camp and have an adorable Wet-Hot-American-Summery style wedding. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that shit? Sounds original to me! Could be inexpensive since….wait oh what’s that…oh everyone does it….summer camps actually have wedding packages….

Fucking bag of dicks.

They even have lists of vendors that you have to use. What the hell?

Enchanted Forest

Summer camp

What now?

Aquarium wedding?

Pizza Hut wedding?