Something dark and sinister is happening. Some malevolent forces are conspiring to fuck with my wedding planning and it’s pissing me right the fuck off.
Or…people just don’t reply to e-mails in a timely fashion anymore.
I’ve written countless inquiry e-mails to venues requesting price lists and general information and exactly ONE has gotten back to me. Two if you count Enchanted Forest telling me to fuck off. The other place told me in many more words to fuck off by informing me that it would cost $4,500 to rent their venue and an additional $1,000 for the ceremony space. They could have just said FUCK OFF, BITCH, WE KNOW YOU AIN’T CLASSY ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT!
Sometimes when I’m writing I realize that how it sounds in my head is not how it will sound when someone else reads it and gives it their own inflection. At that point I pause and wonder if I should stop saying “fuck” so much and try to be more eloquent. Then, instead, I write side note paragraphs like this to explain that if you were in my head, my writing would be way funnier to you. Yup.
There are two places that I really want to hear back from and it’s been four days since I wrote to them. I don’t know if four days is not that long or if it means that yet again I’m being silently told to fuck off.
I write very polite, brief e-mails. I don’t drop the F bomb. I don’t sign them “XO”. I don’t attach a photo of my fiance and I wearing matching sweaters. Why is no one writing me back?
I could call them on the phone but my anxiety level is so high in general that I assume I would be bothering people. Especially when they have a specific event planning e-mail address. So when they don’t answer, my anxiety and paranoia starts growing and I start assuming that it’s personal. That these people looked at my e-mail address, found me on Facebook, judged all my photos and then decided I wasn’t good enough to get married at their loft/bar/house/garden/theme park.
That’s actually how my brain works. I do know that that is not actually happening and that people are busy. But somewhere deep in my self worth issues is me saying, “Nah, they just don’t like YOU.” How fucking dumb is that?
Oh and guess what the average American wedding costs these days? Over $28,000.
Eloping is sure looking good.