Today I talked to a lovely woman who is getting married tomorrow who regaled me with tales of her money saving wedding plans: Getting married on her family’s land, doing their own flowers, hiring a friend to do their photographs, having their guests camp on the property. All that, allllll that and how much did they spend?
Ten motherfucking thousand dollars. For a day. Where people camp and eat food cart food and drink beer.
Here’s a list of things I could buy for $10,000:
1. Some really, really nice breast implants.
2. Half of an Alpaca. Because a whole alpaca costs $20,000. According to my friend, Colleen, I should buy the front half because “the back half, all you get is shit.”.
Do yourself a favor and google image search alpacas. It will be the best five minutes of your day.
3. I could rent the entire Hotel Budir in Iceland and have my wedding there plus a honeymoon in Europe.
4. Carrot Top. That’s speculation but I’m pretty sure I could.
5. A yard full of fainting goats. Also speculation but again, I’m reasonably sure this could happen with ten grand.
6. A rocking chair bed.
7. A micro cabin. Because we can’t afford to buy a real house
8. This Land Rover pick-up. Because I would look amazing in it.
9. Diamond studded jeans for my fiance.
10. Did I mention really nice breast implants? Those would last at least ten years. Though if a marriage lasts forever then I suppose the wedding is a better thing to spend the money on. But the fiance would see the boobs every day. He’s not going to look at wedding photos every day. Boobs win.