$10,000….

Today I talked to a lovely woman who is getting married tomorrow who regaled me with tales of her money saving wedding plans: Getting married on her family’s land, doing their own flowers, hiring a friend to do their photographs, having their guests camp on the property. All that, allllll that and how much did they spend?

$10,000

Ten motherfucking thousand dollars. For a day. Where people camp and eat food cart food and drink beer.

Here’s a list of things I could buy for $10,000:

1. Some really, really nice breast implants.

2. Half of an Alpaca. Because a whole alpaca costs $20,000. According to my friend, Colleen, I should buy the front half because  “the back half, all you get is shit.”.

alpaca head

Do yourself a favor and google image search alpacas. It will be the best five minutes of your day.

3. I could rent the entire Hotel Budir in Iceland and have my wedding there plus a honeymoon in Europe.

4. Carrot Top. That’s speculation but I’m pretty sure I could.

5. A yard full of fainting goats. Also speculation but again, I’m reasonably sure this could happen with ten grand.

6.rocking chair bed.

giant-rocking-bed

 

7.micro cabin. Because we can’t afford to buy a real house

original

 

8. This Land Rover pick-up. Because I would look amazing in it.

original

 

9. Diamond studded jeans for my fiance.

M375A4AAA8-FBS-10000(1)

 

10. Did I mention really nice breast implants? Those would last at least ten years. Though if a marriage lasts forever then I suppose the wedding is a better thing to spend the money on. But the fiance would see the boobs every day. He’s not going to look at wedding photos every day. Boobs win.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “$10,000….

  1. I’m doing most of the same money saving tricks as your friend. and it’s costing more. for one day.

    It’s just fucking guest numbers. take the cost of doing something, multiply it by the number of guests. instead of having 3 straight months of you insane partying, you have 1 day of 90 people partying.

  2. The worst is when you hear yourself saying “that’s reasonable” when talking about wedding related costs. “$1200 for a dress, plus alterations, that’s reasonable” “$5000 for a photo package, that’s reasonable”. I’m in the wrong business.

    Also. My sis-in-law to be just got new boobs this week as a pre-cursor for her 2014 wedding. They cost less than $10k so you COULD actually go for more than 2!!

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